Dream Of A Place Called Home
by MiraiFutureGirl
Summary: As Dawson leaves to become a firefighter, May Jensen joins 51 as a paramedic. Her childhood haunts her, but it never stopped her from doing what she wanted. Will she find love and more in her city of dreams?
1. Through The Stomach

**NBC owns Chicago Fire I just like playing around in their world.**

May Jensen joined 51 when Dawson was taking Academy classes.

It was a lukewarm reception at first. That all changed then she took over for meals.

They looked at her skeptically when she tossed stuff into a slow cooker, and just blinked as she made dough for rolls.

Coming back from a call, was a different story. It smelled incredible! It only got better when she stuck in the rolls.

"Lunch is ready. Green chili chicken stew and rolls. "

She added a bowl to the table.

"My aunt's spiced apples. Fresh picked from the orchard, cooked up and sent back here the last time I saw her."

Truly the men of 51 were vulture's, the plates were soon picked clean.

Peter Mills walked back to the kitchen where May was washing up.

"You keep that up, they'll never let you quit. Any chance I could have that recipe?"

"Girl's got to have her secrets, Peter Mills."

His earnest face tugged at her heart. She relented.

"Maybe someday, ok?"

 **Good grief! It should be fixed now, sorry for those who read it when I messed up earlier. More coming on all my work soon!**


	2. Fall brings changes

**NBC owns Chicago Fire. It just inspires me.**

It finally felt like fall, so she made pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese icing. Her place was crap, but at least she had a working oven.

She gets fawned over like usual for the cake. That day, she hears Otis and Cruz arguing over their roommate situation and the fact that Shay and Severide have a free room.

After shift her car won't start. So Kelly and Leslie offer a ride.

Both Severide and Shay are appalled at the building she lives in. They follow her in, needing to see it up close.

Shay had heard her complain, but truly? The place was a death trap.

That's when Leslie and Kelly get into a whisper-shouty match.

Leslie turns to her.

"Move in with us. I feel dirty just stepping in here, I can't leave you stuck with it. Keep up with the rent and you can have the room."

"I'll take it." May answers.

As they pack up the things May can't live without, Kelly turns to Leslie.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks her, unsure himself.

"You took a chance on me. I'm giving her the same chance." Shay replies, confident.

 **A/N-This is an AU, so if the timeline doesn't look right, that's why. Also, some canon will be ignored.**


	3. Syrup is still Syrup in a Sippy-cup

**He's still dead when you're done with the bottle**

 **Of course it's a corpse that you keep in the cradle**

 **Kids are still depressed when you dress them up**

 **Syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup.- Sippy- cup- Melanie Martinez**

The first time anyone at 51 got any sign that May's childhood was nowhere close to normal came with a call.

Ambulance 61 was called to a house: Toddler unresponsive. Any parents worst fear.

"I put my youngest-Gabriel, down for a nap, and told my oldest- Jacen- to watch his brother and play quietly.

I had the beginnings of a migraine. I slept longer than I would have liked. When I went to check on my two-year-old he wouldn't wake up." The mother of the little boy babbled as she let then in.

They were rushed to a back bedroom, on the lower bunk of a set was a two-year-old. His breathing was loud and way too slow. May felt for a pulse, which was fast and strong.

May looked down, on the carpet was a vomit stain. She quickly sniffed near his face, following a hunch.

There was no mistaking that scent. Finding a Sippy cup on the rug, she wiped the mouthpiece, then took a sip.

Shay did the same and choked.

"What the hell?" She thought, disbelieving of the depths a tired parent could stoup to.

"Cheap vodka mixed with juice," May stated, with no anger or surprise. As if she was saying the sky was blue, or Chicago's windy. A simple fact, stated plainly.

"Got tired of the toddler being…. What? Too _noisy_ , too _messy_? _**Too much?**_ " May sneered.

Gone was the kind girl Shay had known the last few weeks. This girl was all thunder.

"My God! Never, _**never**_! I would never do that to my baby!" The mother of the boys cried.

May looked over to the doorway, where the oldest boy stood, fat tears falling down his face.

Everything about May changes then. She goes over to him.

"It's okay, sweetie. I know it's scary. We're taking care of your brother."

"It's my fault!" He cries.

"I got the bottle from the cupboard. Daddy uses a bottle like it in his sippy when he wants Gabe to be quiet when we're at his house. I didn't want mommy's head to get worse. I needed Gabe to be quiet- I didn't wanna hurt him!"

"Jesus help us." The mother moans.

"We've got to take him in. You two ride with us. I'm sorry I accused you. I- I've seen it before…."

After they were dropped off at Lakeshore, Shay was about to give her hell for the blatant accusation.

May sighed despondently.

"My Mom did it. Alcohol in the sippy cup. To my Baby brother. His name is Theodore, but I always called him Teddy." May says this wistfully.

"She wanted to shut him up, he was too much for her after our Dad died. He came to me in tears, holding out his tippy-cup.

Crying:

"Tastes ick."

"Then I caught her later trying to force him to drink it. He was screaming his head off, but she wouldn't let go. "

"You'd think a six-year-old taking you to task would snap you out of wherever she was, but it didn't. I found out later that she did the same when I was his age until my dad yelled at her for it. It worked for one kid, and her husband was gone.

She needed a way to forget. Toddlers don't help you make an escape. I promised I'd take care of him if she stopped. So far as I know she did."

"Your brother's okay?" Shay questions gently.

"Yes," May states with conviction.

"You and Teddy made it out. I think you did the best you could considering what you had." Shay answers.

"Come on. While it's quiet, I want to show you something."

"…Can we stop somewhere on the way?"

They stopped at a place May liked to get coffee and breakfast some days.

Armed with a latte each: Shay's almond mocha, May's vanilla almond.

They parked the ambo and took the pedestrian path across Shay's favorite bridge. They stopped in the middle to watch the water and drink their drinks in peace.

"I get why this is your favorite place. It all goes quiet, looking at the water. Peaceful. You can get yourself back together." May states thoughtfully.

"Everyone needs a place like that. Thank you for showing me yours." She adds, grateful.

Grace, the owner of the coffee/bakery place May loved had insisted on sending boxes of treats with them.

She had heard of 51 and knew first responders made good repeat customers.

So they got several dozen each of their homemade Whoopee Pies, in pumpkin and devil's food. They set them in the kitchen.

She also brought over a bag to Kelly. It held a pumpkin whoopee pie and a double chocolate one, his favorites.

Hearing the complaints, she pointed out that there was more in the kitchen.

Soon, they were off to help people again.

 **A/N- this will be updated when I can see where it is going. If you'd like to join me on My Chicago Fire fan blog, It's 51isfamily on Tumblr. Please Comment and enjoy. ^_^**


	4. You'd trade the world for them

**A/N- I don't own Chicago Fire. I write to be happy when real life sucks.**

Fall slid into winter. May was off- shift on Christmas, so she went home for it, coming home with hand made lotion and soap plus other stuff from her aunt's shop. Melissa would not let her leave without it, knowing winter was hell on skin. She shared with Shay and Dawson, and put some of it in the showers.

She met Katie Nolan, cooking with her when she came to cook for 51.

The night the power went out , she stood steady as chaos and Vince Keeler made the night even harder for 51.

She had no idea the lengths some would go to for revenge, and hearing of Katie's abduction made her horrified.

She saw Kelly, unwound and frantic. Though she knew Kelly hadn't had the chance to be there as he may have wanted, she also knew being an older sibling.

She gently tugged him aside, propelling him into one of the meeting rooms.

She opened her phone, pulling up a picture from Christmas. May and a grinning young man with hazel eyes and dark blonde hair.

"This is Teddy. He's a year younger than Mills and is a veterinary intern back home in Michigan. He's my baby brother.

He's one of the best things in my life. There are times I know I wouldn't be who and where I am if he wasn't there. I've never been quite where you are, but I've moved the world to keep him safe and happy.

If anything close to what happened to Katie happened to him, nothing would stop me bringing him home.

I get it. I have your back. Do what you need to. Still, remember- she will need you after. Don't do anything to prevent you doing that."

Kelly smiled slightly. It was quick, weak, and gone in a second.

"Thank you, May."

 **There's that. Thursday I go in to have a laser procedure done on my left eye. It's also the first time I'm doing anything majorly medical without my mom right beside me. I'm not really OK right now, so fanfic it is. Enjoy.**


	5. Grey skies and worst fears

Disclaimer: NBC owns Chicago fire.

The day of the marathon, May expected it to go smooth. It was a cold day, but it wasn't snowing. So yeah, winter.

She had expected maybe one or two calls if a serious injury happened during because you never know. Never what 61 pulled up to, not in a million years.

She locked down her emotions. She needed to act, not let her feelings overwhelm her. Her job was to save those who could be saved. She headed with Shay to where Casey had those injured waiting.

May stayed with Zoe and Imogene while Shay and Holly went to check for a CT scan to use. Shay knew she'd prefer watching over the kids.

As much as May hated when kids got hurt, she had unending kindness to them, in the face of it. The girls would be well taken care of until more help was available.

When Shay fell onto the debris sticking out of the rubble, May wasn't there. Shay, always the 'keep-moving-until-the-job-is-done' type, patched the wound and kept going. It wasn't over.

Imogene standing up for Zoe and stating she would come with, reminded May of her best friend back home, Elijah Brennan.

The two of them were only a few months apart in age, born the same year. He'd do the same, had this happened to them when they were kids.

Finding out that Dawson was trapped under the rubble was horrifying. For as much as May was a replacement, Gabriela Dawson had never made her feel like one. They were friends. For Shay it was worse, she knew.

"Shay. _Shay._ _**I'm scared for her too.**_ We have to get our jobs done. I know you want to drop everything, but they got her. 51 wouldn't let any of us fall. _ **"**_

May knew it was all Shay could do not to run for the girl that was her best friend and still her partner, even if she was in firefighter training. She saw Shay steel herself.

"Okay. Okay. Let's get back to work."

The second group of casualty's seemed like a nightmare. But they worked through it.

"They need a medic out front," May announced to Shay.

She really looked at her. Shay did not look right. But this place was chaos, and she had asked before multiple times if Shay was alright.

"You need a break, take one. I'm going up front. I'll call you when I hear anything.

May knew the unthinkable had happened when her call about Dawson went unanswered.

Kelly's rolling boil of anxiety induced fury splashed onto her when they met in the hall.

"How the _**hell**_ could you let this happen to her!? _Your own partner_?"

"You know how she is. _I asked_. _**More than once**_. Leslie Shay could out-stubborn the sun and stars when she gets going. Do you _**really**_ think I'm okay with this!?" May retorted back at him.

When Shay came to, both Kelly and May were waiting.

May let them have their moment. After Kelly left, she spoke up.

"You can't ever do this again. I can't be your partner if you don't tell me you're hurt!"

She threw her head back and puffed out air.

"Sorry. I just- Do you remember two weeks in, after I got used to 51, I asked you if anyone had any medical problems, about old injuries, things like that?"

My dad was a Paramedic. He'd also had migraines on and off all his life, but he'd been taking meds and they were rarely bad enough that he'd need to call off work

One day, he went out to a call. He'd told his partner that maybe he'd call in sick and go home, he thought it was just another bad migraine. She got up to the house, and when he didn't follow behind, she went back to the rig, and he was on the ground. He'd had a massive hemorrhage.

I've tried to keep an eye out for my co-workers ever since. If I could catch it, give someone else the chance my dad didn't get…"

She muffed a broken sound into her hand. When she continued, it was shaky

"51's family. I know I haven't been here that long, but it's true. I don't want to lose any more family if I can help It.

"So, tell me the next time you get shish-ka-bobbed, ok?" May finished her diatribe with a wet laugh.

"I promise I won't hide anything, anymore," Shay promised.

"Why do I have the feeling this won't be the last time?" May said, resignedly.

"No, really cross my heart," Shay said, mock-solemn.

"Okay, okay. Just warn me before you collapse?" May asks.

"Ok."

"Now as punishment for scaring a few years of life out of your partner, you _will_ be mother-henned until you are cleared for work again."

 **A/N - and this is where I got stuck, and you wonderful people have waited long enough. Next chapter is the part where we go farther AU as we wrap up season two.**


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